Dear Scum Sucking Digital Marketer

This is a public service announcement to all business owners.

Do not be fooled by your digital marketing agencies promises of increased traffic through “value added” backlinks. Backlinks probably are the number one way to increase your search rankings (especially when they come from an authoritative source) because Google sees them essentially as a vote of confidence for your content.

But just like everything in life, nothing worth having comes easy.

What you’ll read below is my response to an email I received from a scum sucking, bottom feeding digital marketing company. They want to place a piece of content on MY site on behalf of their client and they’re willing to pay me $65 for that space (because they probably bill out 5X that…)

But what they REALLY want is a back link from my site to their client’s site. That way they can show them at the end of the day, “Hey look, we’re getting you backlinks!” Unfortunately for their client, Google is much, much smarter then their marketing agency. Google understands context and they understand BS placed content like the one being solicited here.

So sit back and enjoy the exchange. If you need real digital marketing services contact my company, Circle Squared Publishing, if we can’t help you we can make sure you don’t end up working with a company like the one employing my new friend Alan.

Scummy Marketing Company Email

Hi Will,
I just read One of those Days | Will Conkwright, I’ve shown it to some colleagues and we think a collaboration between us could work well. I represent a digital marketing agency currently working with a leading auto retailer. We would like to feature a unique piece of content on your site on behalf of our client. For the privilege, we’d be happy to pay you somewhere in the region of $65.

Let me know your thoughts.

Best wishes,
Alan

Don’t want emails from us anymore? Reply to this email with the word “UNSUBSCRIBE” in the subject line.

My Response

Alan,

I am the owner of a digital marketing agency. I understand why you sent me this email, or rather I understand how the software works that your agency uses to scrape title tags from Google, inject them into a generic template, and send them on to the email address it also scraped from the website. I get these emails all the time. If you’re actually a real person, and a real employee, for a real agency then congratulations because this is the first time I’ve ever made some time to respond.

But you see, the title your company scraped is to a piece I wrote about the day my late father was in an airplane crash. He suffered a traumatic brain injury and was never the same man that I knew growing up. So take a minute and read the 17 lines below. If you’re really intrigued you can read the crash report too.

April 17th.

Today is one of those days.
Today has always been one of those days.
Today will always be one of those days.

Everyday that passes shapes us in some way.
Some days define who we are.
Some days remind us of who we were.
And some days give us a glimpse of what we may become.

But then you have one of those days like April 17th 1999.
Days like that change who you were, who you are, and who you will be.
You may never experience one of those days.
Or you may choose not to recognize it as one of those days.

Choose recognition.
Days like today are special.
Days like today make you appreciate all you have, all you have overcome, and prepare you for all that has yet to come.
Days like today make you strong, they make you humble.
Choose recognition.
Because if it weren’t for days like today, we wouldn’t be ourselves tomorrow.

April 17th, 2015
William H. Conkwright

Crash Report

 

If you’re still with me then thank you for actually reading the article. I owe you one Alan, and I hope you’ll share this with your employer. I started Circle Squared Publishing as a web and app development business. But when my clients came to me with stories about working with companies like yours, what they were paying them, and what they were getting in return, I decided to take us into the digital marketing world.

I didn’t do this just so we could offer a better service. I did it because I want to put companies like the one you work for out of business.

Of all the pages on my site, your company’s software scraped the one that tapped a nerve. My Dad was a compassionate man but he didn’t tolerate incompetence, especially not from so called business people like your current employer.

And that’s why I owe you one Alan (if that really is your name) because it’s been a while since I’ve been reminded about the low level scum suckers like the ones you work for and how they leach hard earned dollars from real businesses that provide real services, and add real value to people’s lives.

I may expand on this topic later in my blog. So please go ahead and join my email list so you can stay in the loop. Or just revisit this page [link to this post provided in the email] periodically.

Hell, who knows, maybe your spammy software will bring you back before then.

Until then I shall remain unapologetically yours,

William Hughes Conkwright

Data driven results. It’s what we do.

William Conkwright

Will Conkwright is the owner at Circle Squared Publishing, LLC, a photographer, writer, full stack web developer, Google Street View Trusted Photographer, competitive cyclist, endurance athlete and adventure junky who loves riding motorcycles.

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